Well, folks, it is day 20 of my fast. Half way! I haven't written in a while, but the Lord has been working through something with me that is so deep and personal to me that it's taken a while for me to work through casting down some idols that I have put before Him and to understand the depth of the importance of what I'm about to write today. Before I begin I will recapture the physical aspect of my fast and then conclude with the spiritual. After the two week mark the fast has become very routine. I still get hungry, but my hunger doesn't control me as it normally would. Dying to the flesh is a sacrifice, it's difficult, but it's attainable. Sometimes I still have to go to a restaurant with people and smell their steak while I sit and wait patiently (patience is not my strong suit), and pout inside while they eat. But as with the practice of anything else, it gets easier. I'm looking forward to mid September when I get to reintroduce myself to solid foods again, which is a nice segway to what He has done in my life spiritually.
When I first began this fast I was out of control. I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Portion and nutrition was completely void in my diet and I was miserable. Food had become a coping mechanism and an idol. I still cringe at the thought of food becoming my idol. I had gained over 20 lbs in a year and was not treating my body with the care that it needs and deserves to sustain good health. In 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 it says, "Do you not know that your body isa temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. Therefore, honor God with our body." This speaks to me on a multitude of levels, and this tells me that if I am going to do His will then I should be taking care of my body that would be fit for the dwelling place for the Holy Spirit. When I was about 20 years old the Lord had spoke to me and promised me good health. He said that He would bless me. What I didn't heed at that time is that I have to pull my end of the bargain by taking good care of my body. What does that look like?
Well, let me start by saying this. I am an all or nothing kind of gal. I'm either full throttle or parked. That is my hard wiring, and God made me that way for a purpose. I can't just have one hot tamale candy and be happy. I have to have the full box. I can't just have one bowl of ice cream per week and be satisfied. It's an addiction. An idol I have placed before God. Before when I felt myself getting out of control, I would "pull myself up by my bootstrapts" instead of take my struggles to the Lord. I would tell myself, "Okay, this is day one of my diet" and by the time I got home that day I had already crashed it. An idol is always a strategy of the enemy and he will always make you feel shame so you hide from God. Please hear me: God has mercy. He will help you pull through anything!
All this being said, I feel that I am to make a covenant to God, a declaration of my commitment to Him to cast down my idol and put him first. My covenant is this: I am committing to bless Him through taking care of my body by eating nutritious, whole foods that were designed by Him. As Jillian Michaels says, "If it doesn't come from the ground or a mother, don't eat it." No yeast, no refined sugar, no bleached flour, corn syrup, or cultured dairy. Does that mean I can never have a piece of candy again? YES! But he is worth it to me.
Jesus,
You are so precious to me. I don't want to have any idols to stand in my way of doing Your will. I repent of putting food before You, and for letting it be my comfort and support. Thank you for revealing to me one more thing that has been standing in my way from reaching you. Please continue to teach my Your ways, Your thoughts, and Your will. Please be my everything and help me stand tall and strong.
Amen
I'm so excited to have shared this with the world. Like other testimonies and commitments, they need to be shared. I want to be held accountable and encouraged, as well as it is by dearest hope that anyone will be blessed through this blog. Blessings to you all!
Careen
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